mustardseedfaith4me

All you need is FAITH

Thankful

on June 10, 2013

Tonight I sit here, thinking, and no matter how today has gone, what has happened, what will happen, I’m thankful. I’m thankful that I’m alive, I’m breathing, I have a family that loves and supports me and I have 2 best friends that are there for me through thick and thin, no matter the miles between. I have a job that covers me and my bills. I may not have a million in the bank or buy everything I want, but I have most everything that I need to cover me. And the main thing is my faith. Knowing that God will provide….. that’s what gets me to tomorrow, and the next day…. no matter what is going on in my head. It’s nice that every now and then, he “screams” out loud for me to snap and think….. to pay attention to what he has to say to me….

My son will be 8 years old tomorrow and I was thinking how in the past when I was pregnant with him, I was scared, scared out of my mind. I had previously had a miscarriage and I was so uncertain (as we all can be after a miscarriage) about what could happen. What would happen. Was I going to be ok?

I remember driving down the highway praying so hard for God to give me a sign, 1 little sign, so that I would know that everything was going to be ok. I was going to have this precious gift, I was going to hold him in my arms, I was going to be ok. Doesn’t seem like much, but it was to me. Right then, it was EVERYTHING!

You know, the million questions that pop in your head as your daydreaming about the baby to come. But what if this precious gift of life wasn’t meant to be? How would I fell? How would I go on? Would I be able to make recover and want to try again?

But that’s the thing. We are so quick to focus on the negative bad, the potential “flaws” that could come up…. That everything is going to fall in our laps, that everything is going to fail and go soooo wrong. Well, most of it at times, case by case depending. We don’t think that for one moment, no matter what we endure, that God loves and cares for us so deeply that His every move in our lives has intentions to teach us, to help us learn to rely on Him solely. To make us a better person, or strive to be. But the one thing that we all have that can make / break his will for us… 1 thing… CHOICE!

Back down memory lane, I can say I was driving down the highway heading to go to the mall and meet up with my BF at the time, he mother and her daughter. Mind you, my previous miscarriage took place days after this little girl was born and I was distraught. But this day blew me away and God used her in my life that day. Again… his every move is perfect in timing I tell you, even when we don’t understand.

I had gotten to the mall, we were shopping for maternity clothes and we happened to stop in this one shop that had precious baby clothes and everything an adoring mom would want for their first child. But along the way I was walking in the aisle with this precious little girl and she grabbed my hand and said, “Look!” I turned around and wasn’t certain what she was talking about and said “Oh, that’s so sweet.” Proceeded to move on thinking she was just in awe as much as I was with all the baby stuff. *snicker*

But then she stopped me in my tracks again, grabbed me closer, said, “Look!!!” with such dominance & pointed in the air and there it was, the sign I had prayed so hard for, so hard it was mere begging only to see a sign that read, “Never fear, I’m with thee.” 5 words, simple, yet so powerful of a phrase. That’s all it took to have me in tears, nearly to my knees. I grabbed that little girl, hugged her tight and said, “Thank you.” No telling what was running through her mind or my BF’s and her mother. I had to run out of the place and finally told them my story…. brought chills to them. Me too to this day when I re-tell of my story.

Psalm 139:1-18
 
O Lord , you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord . You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave,  you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night— but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you. You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me,  O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! 

No matter how a day starts or ends. Just knowing that that simple key phrase can be used so many times and have such great meaning… “Never fear, I’m with thee.” To know that he has our lives entangled into his hands. That moment we accept Him into our lives, we’re forgiven, were loved, were accepted and most of all, were given the gift from Him and when we use it will be up to Him in that moment.

So…. in conclusion, will we have good days? You bet we will. Will we have bad days, that will be knee dropping? You can count on it. Does this change how I feel about Christ in my life? Not for one moment.

He has been there for my highs, lows, and even in between and just having the faith has been everything that has gotten me through ….. miscarriages, marital issues, life, death, life changes, and so much more. But He has never once let me down. I have not had one moment I’ve been without that He didn’t make a way to give me guidance / answers / etc.

So the next time we have a day, a moment that we feel so let down, so off guard, so distraught, the only proper response to the God who rescues us and keeps us from falling?

Give Him:

  • GLORY
  • MAJESTY
  • DOMINION
  • and AUTHORITY –> HUMBLE DAILY WORSHIP

 

Thank you God for my wonderful and supportive husband. Thank you for the life you allowed me to give to our children. Thank you for the opportunity to serve you daily and have you in my life. Thank you for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m blessed.

I hope you have a blessed day / week ahead. God bless you!

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