mustardseedfaith4me

All you need is FAITH

Prayer

on December 15, 2014

So many times in the past few months, I have felt led to go and speak with a pastor or someone in the church, and then I feel held back. “What will this person think? What will they say? Will they look at me like I’m silly to come with this request?”  All too often it’s the devil that keeps me held back in my own pity party. My own despair. My own world of “Nothing will make it ok.”   And that’s not true. I know a good prayer could really help me right now. Others request it and I’m up and ready for the task to do so, no judgement, no motives other than to simply do what they have asked, pray.

The last few months, I have felt lost, struggling within my own place of church and feel that no one truly understands what I’m dealing with: depression.  Who in that church would really and truly see ME and understand what I’m dealing with? Who would want to lend a prayer for me?  All those questions that are answered easily… YES they would care, YES they would pray if I requested it, YES they would lend an ear, hand, or just a good thought for me if I asked. So what keeps me from doing just that, asking??

I feel scattered and my thoughts race …. I wish I was courageous enough to just ASK, simply ASK for a prayer for me…That I’ll find an answer for what I really need, a kind word, gesture, tug, prayer warriors for me… that are close by. I have plenty of people I could ask online, but their all scattered across the board, and there is no real accountability except for myself.

Soon I will head to my doctor and see about some medication … but for now I ask for prayers…. I don’t feel ok and I feel isolated, and I’m sure the truth is, I have isolated myself…… I don’t like how I’m feeling.

So much has happened and I hope to write more in the coming months and pray that 2015 is a better year to come!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year friends.

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One response to “Prayer

  1. I Am Pooped says:

    I’m sorry I didn’t see this post sooner. I will pray for you, Lizzy!

    Like

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